By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just high enough for therapy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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