I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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