i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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