Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Alive.
So much puke
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
