should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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