he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
