OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
