yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
