The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
