If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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