You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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