The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
