How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
