she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
