she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
