paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
