I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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