i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize