Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
