Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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