Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
