Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
