We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
