the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
