never play flip cup with pint glasses
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
