My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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