At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Randomize
