Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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