The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
