True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
