What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
