I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize