There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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