it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
