someone owes me an orgasm
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
