Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
