Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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