one might say we're banned from that church
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
