I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
