So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
