Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize