Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
