Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize