can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
