help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize