Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
