It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
