I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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