I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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