I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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