You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
