No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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