# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
