i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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