So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
