"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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