I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
