WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
