Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
