We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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