4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
