I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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