Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
