i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
