i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
